Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Coincidence? I think not.

I know I have shared in previous blogs a few of the circumstances that led us to adopting three siblings from Ukraine. So many things had to fall perfectly in to place for us to find out about these three loves. Well, the last few weeks, I have learned of a few more details. They just blow my mind. 

Mike and I were getting frustrated with the length of time it was taking to get approved and were worrying about the safety of our kids. It is so hard to get info on the current status of fighting in Ukraine. I reached out to Sarah, who had hosted the kids this summer to see if she had any recent news. Sarah set up a private message between a woman who was currently in Ukraine, adopting a child from the VERY same orphanage our kids are in, and myself. She not only calmed our fears about the circumstances, she was able to tell me that she knows our kids and has talked to them and they are doing well. She even told me that K couldn't wait to tell her that they were being adopted. She said she has never seen K smile so much. Reading these words made my heart skip a beat. K's smile is huge--it can light up a room. 

Fast forward to yesterday. I got another message from this woman. She told me more about the kids. She said she met them last summer when they were visiting their son at a camp in Ukraine. She told me they promised K to do whatever they could to help them find their family. She made a video of our three kids following that visit, in the hopes of sharing their story. That video is the video that spoke to our hearts. That video is the one that kept me from thinking of little else for two days until I could show it to Mike. That is the video that stirred Mike to say, "What would it take?" 

An act of kindness, for three children they knew were not to be theirs. Creating a video that would find these kids their family, that would make our family realize we weren't yet whole. 

Before it was even on our radar, the steps were being made that would lead to us meeting. If this family's adoption hadn't been put on hold during the fighting in Ukraine the previous year, they wouldn't have been visiting the camp last June. They would never have met our kids. That video wouldn't be. This, to me, is mind-blowing. This, to me, is God's plan in our lives and theirs. A year ago, I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams we would be here today. As mind-blowing as it is, it also brings with it such peace. When we began this process, I told God we would give Him yes until we got His no. I also reminded God that I can be really dense, so please make your answer very clear (and please don't make the no be that my tumor returned--it is a good thing He is so patient with me). Every step of the way, we have been shown that this plan has been in the making long before we were brought into it. Don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of times that I have let my worries grow so big in my head that I can't hear anything else. Yet, every time I think I am going to lose it, my heart is quieted by yet another reminder. 

Yesterday, we put together a few things to send with her when she returns to Ukraine in October to finalize her adoption of her son. Such a big deal to us to be able to connect with our kids and let them know that we are thinking of them. To be able to send them a bit of hope. We knew it needed to be small so it wouldn't take up too much room in her bags. I really struggled with thinking about what to send. What if it isn't their style, what if they don't need/want it, what if it isn't enough? That is when it hit me, whatever we send won't be enough. It will be a trinket. Even if it were diamonds, it would still not be enough. There is no way for me to box up my love: actual hugs from their mother's arms, kisses to wipe their tears. There is no way to express what is here, waiting for them. Instead, I stamped a necklace for each with the words, "You are loved." We sent a letter expressing our love for them. Still, it does not begin to convey. It is not enough.

The process is so long--but that is another post for another day. Progress is being made. Our home-study has been approved and sent to the state. We are realistically looking at February now to bring them home for good. In the meantime, we are going to try to host them over Christmas. It may not be exactly how we envisioned, but we haven't given up hope on having our family together for the holidays!